Sinful sinful sinful

I always do self contradictory things......

I had had a piece of delicious fatty blue-berry cheese cake before I worked out hard this afternoon.

I spent a lot after I have promised myself to save money.

I remembered the last literature course I have taken in my beloved university, twentieth century fiction. We deconstruct some norms and believes before we can build up the new order. Do I have to put more fat in my tummy before I finally 're-realize' the urge to
lose weight? Do I have to wait until I receive the credit card statement before I finally 're-realize' I am nobody except a big pile of clothes, bracelets, earrings and skincare products?

A super strong belief must be presented in order to help me to skip the deconstruction step and jump to the new order building step......